think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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