i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How's work?
Spinning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
