Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
