so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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