if i can run in heels then i can drive
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
