You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
