Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
