Whod you bang
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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