he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
