You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
