Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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