...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
