Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
