...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
