i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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