i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it's like iHOP with fire
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
