Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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