wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
