chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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