I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
