Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
