Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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