All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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