I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
