What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
