i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
