I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
