worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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