dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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