I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
