i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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