why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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