Dual....:-)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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