One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
