just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
