I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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