It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
