its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
