It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will pee on everything he values.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
