shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
