i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
