So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
