I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
