fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
