So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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