writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
