where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
