U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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