I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
