I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
