Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
