i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
