Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
tequila makes me forget i have legs
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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